TAKING A BREAK: A USER GUIDE FOR TIME OFF FROM WORK
When you can wake up and do anything -What do you do?
Over the next 6-9 months, I have the privilege to answer that question.
For the past 2 years, I’ve been dreaming of the possibility of “a break” from my immensely rewarding, but high pressure job. At first, I couldn’t even articulate what I wanted, other than “a break”. To sleep often, to wake leisurely, to let my body, mind and soul rest. However, as a break became imminent, I realized that I wanted a lot more than just “a break”. I wanted the time away from work to be meaningful, mindful, skills oriented, passions oriented, and to help shape my future. This insight sparked me to get clear on my approach to taking “a break”. Also, I’m all about frameworks and spreadsheets :)
In no way do I think this user guide is the “right way” to take time off between life chapters. There are lots of ways to enjoy and experience time off, and I know many of my more creative and fluid friends disagree with any approach at all. ”Let spontaneity reign!” -they cheer. But I needed a vision, even if the purpose was only to help me off-ramp from the last few years of high activity, high energy and most importantly, high structure. In conversations with friends and coworkers who have also taken time off from work, I’ve amassed several thoughtful insights from their experiences in this life stage. Below is the combination of their knowledge and my own perspective.
Let’s begin.
Get Clear on Your Values and Intentions
Purpose is paramount. We find purpose in our work, in our artistic, creative and athletic endeavors, and in our community and family lives. Having large blocks of time off when other people are working provides agency over your own purpose, but it also creates uncertainty and ambiguity. The most compelling purpose aligns with our core personal values.
This begs the question “What do you value? What experiences do you want to have to help you invest in those values?”
Earlier this year, I spent time getting clear on my values. Thinking through peak life experiences -the moments that stood out to me as deeply meaningful or catalysts for a major life change. I then identified through-lines in those experiences. For me, winning athletic championships, running marathons, moving to San Francisco, attending concerts, leading a camp and building community at Burning Man, and shipping the Podcast product @ Pandora all stood out as major and meaningful life experiences. From these moments, I distilled my personal values -creation, movement, leadership, community & connection.
For my time off, I combined my these existing personal values with specific values that I want to nourish during this break, examples include relaxation & mindfulness, exploration and uncomfortably. Next, I mapped out some experiences I knew I wanted to have during my time off, with a backlog of “extra stuff” I might want to do. This backlog should be helpful when I feel listless and want to recenter around my purpose. Below is the example Trello board that maps my personal values to current and future experiences.
I also, at a high-level, mapped out my google calendar over the next 4 months. Intentionally spending chunks of time (1) traveling to new places (2) visiting and connecting with family (3) at home in SF exploring culture, art and local spaces in the city and (4) with scheduled unplanned time to rest and allow for spontaneous experiences. I’m sure this whole effort is over scripted, but it’s been helpful to map out rough thematic areas and rough chunks of time for personal investment.
Thoughtful Advice from Friends Who Have Taken a Professional Break
Put a date on your calendar for when you’re going to start looking for your next job. Don’t do anything in pursuit of your next job until that date. You wanted a break. You worked for, saved for, and planned for a break. Take the break. Don’t let insecurities or too much future thinking influence this time in your life. Be present.
My approach: I’m leaving Pandora in mid-May 2019. I put September 25th, 2019 on the calendar as a “check-in” point. At that time, I will take stock in the past 4 months. How do I feel? What have I learned? Which of my values have I nourished, and how? Have my values changed? What more do I want or need in my life? How much money have I spent and how comfortable do I feel with my budget? When I hit the Sept 25th date, I assume I’ll take another 2 months off into November, potentially for an outdoor rock climbing trip. Then use December as a starting point in looking for my next career move. Humans are bad at predicting their future selves -so we’ll see how this prediction turns out :)
Proactively construct your answer when the Lyft driver (or anyone) asks “What do you do?”. Your job is a big part of your identity. It’s a shattering shift to your purpose and ego when you leave a job without a clear future employment plan. Your gut instinct will be to hedge, or apologize for the privilege you have in this time in your life. Ultimately, that answer helps no one.
My approach: Much of my identity was wrapped up in being a leader @ Pandora. That’s gone. I intent to shift the question of “What do you do?” to instead answer the question “What are you passionate about?” I’d often prefer to share what I’m passionate about vs. what I do, so this is good forcing function to learn how to influence these situations.
You previously had money, and not time. Now you have the opposite. Enjoy the resource reversal. Being fun-employed means decision making is around saving $$, not saving time. This paradoxical shift allows for a wealth of new experience. Enjoy time reading in parks, coffee shops or even just on your couch. Take in an afternoon matinee! Celebrate all the things that were previously time intensive, and seemly unremarkable. These moments might be the most pleasurable of your time off. More time, less money also means you can think about skills & learnings that may be might be cost prohibitive in the US, but could be done more affordable elsewhere. Guitar or language lessons in Mexico, climbing lessons in Thailand, massages in…lots of countries.
My approach: This is an interesting one. When working I often payed for convenience if it returned time. I’m excited to focus more energy on cooking meals at home vs. eating out, using cheap/free in-city travel -like bikes- vs. ride sharing and to find enjoyment from lower cost experiences that provide a difference sense of growth. I think I’ll spend a lot more time reading in my backyard. We’ll see!
To-do lists of all the things you want to accomplish can be helpful at moments of listlessness. You’re going to have a moment (or moments) on your time off when you think “What the f*ck am I doing with my life?”. And in that moment, you want to have a list inclusive of the amazing things you’ve done to reflect on, and the things that you want to do in the future to help you refocus on your purpose and intention.
My approach: I’m a HUGE fan of using trello for personal passion lists. It’s a super lightweight and highly flexible project/experience management tool. I’ll keep loose track of what I’ve done, and the progress I’ve made to certain goals. I’ll also reach out to my community periodically to elicit recommendations for books, podcasts, art and travel.
Tavel often, with at least some solo journeys, to places that inspire you. But stay in each place for at least 4 days. All of this is great advice. Part of the value of having big chunks of time off, is that you can travel to remote places either with our without companionship. And you can stay in those places for a lot longer than you could with a normal 2 week vacation.
My approach: I’m headed to a few islands in French Polynesia in June. A full 3-week trip! Something I haven’t done…well, ever. We’ll be spending time on a few islands -each long enough time to have an immersive experience. I plan to head to South East Asia in the fall, and again, soak in more time living in one place.
Don't try too hard to have a specific end-goal in mind for this time just yet. It's ok to have ideas, but let yourself just sink into it at first. Take a couple weeks to catch your breath and leave lots of unstructured time to wander around and discover what it is your brain gets interested in. Make the space to let in the unpredictable. Be open to serendipity. Spend time practicing gratitude for all that you have in your life, knowing that it is good enough without needing to add to it or change it in any way.
My approach: I'm probably too over-scheduled already, but at least I’m aware of it. I’m taking a couple weeks at the end of May / early June to settle into the unstructured and unplanned life. I plan to walk around SF, taking photos, and getting curious. I’ve already found that I’m more interested in writing than I thought I would be…. Hence, this blog post!
And perhaps the best words of wisdom…come watch TV.
“Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere and everybody’s gonna die, come watch TV.”
Big hugs and gratitude to: Patrick M, Rain H, Chris B, Peter K, Eric B, Amy W, Pink J, Will J, Sarena H, Marko W, Sasha M, Shamal R, Lizzie P, Leslie C, Carrie B, & Rick and Morty and others for giving me insights from their experiences.
3. 2. 1. Break
Based on advice from friends and some of my own thinking I’ve identified my values and am working to invest in them through learnings and experiences. I’m giving myself complete permission to rest, make space for the unpredictable, and not think about my next job until September 25th at the earliest. I will enjoy and embrace the flipped experience of “having more time than money”. I will travel alone -at least a bit. Ultimately, I’m excited for the unplanned spontaneous experiences that end up, perhaps, being the most meaningful.
I’ll keep you all posted on how this whole thing goes :) I’m pretty f*cking stoked! Check back for more posts around my time off and what’s next.
Much love, -Beckie